40下 老马整理旧生涯 晓棠思索新人生（2 / 2）

请勿开启浏览器阅读模式，否则将导致章节内容缺失及无法阅读下一章。<h3>40下 老马整理旧生涯 晓棠思索新人生（第2页）</h3><script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5Zue5oOz6Ieq5bex6L+Z5LiA55Sf77yM5piv5YGP56a75LqG5pyA5Yid55qE6aKE6K6+77yM6L+Y5piv6LWw5Yiw5LqG5Y+v5Zac55qE57uI54K55Y205Y+R546w57uI54K555qE6aOO5pmv5pyJ5Lqb5bC05bCs5ZKM5aSx6JC977yf5Zyo5pu+57uP55qE6aKE6K6+5Lit77yM5LuW5oOz5ZCR5ZGo6YGt55qE5Lq66K+B5piO5LuA5LmI5ZGi44CB5a6j5ZGK5LuA5LmI5ZGi77yf5a6j5ZGK6L+Z5Y6G5Y+y5LiK5pu+57uP5pyJ5LuW6L+Z5LmI5LiA5Liq5Lq677yM6K+B5piO6L+Z5Liq5Lq65pu+5YGa6L+H5ZOq5Lqb5ZOq5Lqb5LqL5oOF77yM6L+Z5Lqb5LqL5oOF5ZCO5Lq65aaC5L2V5aaC5L2V56ew6aKC4oCm4oCmPC9wPg=='));</script>

回想自己这一生，是偏离了最初的预设，还是走到了可喜的终点却发现终点的风景有些尴尬和失落？在曾经的预设中，他想向周遭的人证明什么呢、宣告什么呢？宣告这历史上曾经有他这么一个人，证明这个人曾做过哪些哪些事情，这些事情后人如何如何称颂……<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5q2k5Yi755qE6ICB6ams5pyJ5Lqb5oGN5oOa77yM5aW95YOP5LuW6L+Z6L6I5a2Q5LuO5rKh56a75byA6L+H6YKj5Liq6aKE6K6+55qE6L2o6YGT77yM5Y+I5aW95YOP6Ieq5bex6L+Z5LiD5Y2B5bm05a6e6ZmF5LiK5LuO5rKh6LWw6L+b6L+H6YKj5Liq6L2o6YGT44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

此刻的老马有些恍惚，好像他这辈子从没离开过那个预设的轨道，又好像自己这七十年实际上从没走进过那个轨道。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+55Sf5ZG95aaC5q2k54+N6LS177yM55m95LqR6IuN54uX44CB55m96am56L+H6ZqZ6Iis55qE5bKB5pyI6K6p54+N6LS15Y+Y5b6X5aSx5Y675LqG5Y6f5pys55qE5YWJ5b2p5ZKM5Lu35YC844CC5p2l5rex5Zyz6Iux6Iux5a625omN5Lik5Liq5pyI5LiN5Yiw77yM5b6I5aSa5LuW5LiA55Sf5Zu65a6I55qE5oOz5rOV5Ly85LmO5pyJ5Lqb5p2+5Yqo4oCU4oCU5Y2B5p2l5bm05rKh5pyJ6L+H55qE5Ymn54OI5p2+5Yqo44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

生命如此珍贵，白云苍狗、白驹过隙般的岁月让珍贵变得失去了原本的光彩和价值。来深圳英英家才两个月不到，很多他一生固守的想法似乎有些松动——十来年没有过的剧烈松动。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5Yiw5bqV5ZOq6YeM5Y+Y5LqG77yf6ICB5aS05Y+I6K+05LiN5aSq6b2Q5pW044CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

到底哪里变了？老头又说不太齐整。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('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'));</script>

老马的肉身已然老朽，他的劳作能力早不如后生一辈，他执着的功绩——老一辈人遗忘了、新生代的无所知，他此生较劲的东西不觉中被自己不那么重视了……曾经的他在消失，他和他的世界一起在消失，这是一件让七旬老头无力更改又无颜慷慨的事实。既然一切终会消失，那索性什么都别做。什么都不做是否意味着谈不上消失什么或损失什么。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5Y+v5YCY6Iul6Ieq5bex5rS75Yiw5LqG5YWr5Y2B5bKB44CB5Lmd5Y2B5bKB77yM6YKj5Ymp5LiL55qE6L+Z5Y2B5bm044CB5LqM5Y2B5bm05LuW5aaC5L2V5bqm6L+H77yf5aaC5q2k5ryr6ZW/55qE5pe26Ze05LuW6IO955So5p2l5YGa5Lqb5LuA5LmI5ZGi77yfPC9wPg=='));</script>

可倘若自己活到了八十岁、九十岁，那剩下的这十年、二十年他如何度过？如此漫长的时间他能用来做些什么呢？<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('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'));</script>

年少时，浑身是劲儿的马建国不仅白日梦做得漂亮，连晚上半睡半醒的蒙昧时段和睡着以后的做梦时段他也不放过，全用来幻想。那些伟岸的幻想让自己感觉自己很强大、是个超人。后来他越来越依赖这种幻想，以至大脑越来越了解他，一到煎熬、生活泥泞、中年颓败、老年难眠的时候，大脑自动开启了幻想功能。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5bm75oOz5YGa5p+Q5LqL5q+U5a6e6ZmF5LiK5YGa5p+Q5LqL5pWI5p6c5pu05aW977yM5Y+v5bm75oOz55qE5YmN5o+Q5piv6Ieq5bex5oul5pyJ5bm75oOz5oiQ55yf55qE5Y+v6IO95oCn44CC5aaC5LuK6Ieq5bex5bey57uP5LiD5Y2B5LqG77yM5oul5pyJ5aSn5oqK5aSn5oqK5Y+v5bm75oOz55qE5pe26Ze077yM5aWI5L2V6Ieq5bex5rKh5pyJ5LqG5bm75oOz5by65aSn55qE5oSP5oS/44CC5pep6LW35ZCO44CB5pma552h5YmN77yM5q+P5b2T5LuW5peg5LqL5Y+v5YGa5pe277yM6ICB5Lq65a625ruh6ISR5a2Q5oOz55qE56uf5piv5ry+5ry+5ZKM5LuU5LuU77yM5YG25bCU5o666L+b5p2l5qGC6Iux5LuW5Lus5YWE5aa55LiJ5Liq44CC5LuW5Lus5LiJ5Liq57uZ6ICB6ams5bim5p2l55qE5YG25bCU5piv5LiN5b+r5LmQ77yM5aSn5aSa5piv5rKJ6YeN77yM5Y+v5oOz5LiA5oOz5ry+5ry+5oqg6by75a2Q5oao56yR55qE5bCP5qih5qC377yM6ICB6ams6IO95byA5b+D5pW05pW05LiA5Liq5LiK5Y2I44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

幻想做某事比实际上做某事效果更好，可幻想的前提是自己拥有幻想成真的可能性。如今自己已经七十了，拥有大把大把可幻想的时间，奈何自己没有了幻想强大的意愿。早起后、晚睡前，每当他无事可做时，老人家满脑子想的竟是漾漾和仔仔，偶尔掺进来桂英他们兄妹三个。他们三个给老马带来的偶尔是不快乐，大多是沉重，可想一想漾漾抠鼻子憨笑的小模样，老马能开心整整一个上午。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5YGH5aaC6Ieq5bex5rS75Yiw5LqG5LiA55m+5bKB77yM6Ieq5bex5pu+57uP5om25oyB55qE5Lq65rKh5q275Lmf57OK5raC5LqG77yM6Ieq5bex5aWJ54yu6L+H55qE5Zyw5pa55pep5LiN5bGe5LqO6Ieq5bex5LqG77yM6Ieq5bex55m+6Iis6aqE5YKy55qE6I2j6ICA5Lmf5rKh5LqG55+l5oOF6KeC5LyX4oCm4oCm5YGa57uZ5Yir5Lq655qE5LqL5oOF77yM57uI5b2S5L6d6LWW5LqO5Yir5Lq655qE5a2Y5Lqh5ZKM55y85YWJ77yb5ZKM6Ieq5a625Lq6546p5LmQ5ayJ56yR55qE5LiA5YiH55Sf5rS75Lqk6ZuG77yM5rC46L+c56iz5aal5Zyw5bGe5LqO6Ieq5bex44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

假如自己活到了一百岁，自己曾经扶持的人没死也糊涂了，自己奉献过的地方早不属于自己了，自己百般骄傲的荣耀也没了知情观众……做给别人的事情，终归依赖于别人的存亡和眼光；和自家人玩乐嬉笑的一切生活交集，永远稳妥地属于自己。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+6ICB6ams57Sv5LqG77yM6ICB5LqG77yM5LiN5oOz5Lmf5LiN5oS/5YaN5ZCR6L+Z5b+r6YCf5Y+Y6L+B55qE5LiW55WM6K+B5piO5LuA5LmI5LqG44CC5LuW5Y+q5oOz5ZCR5ry+5ry+5ZKM5LuU5LuU6K+B5piO6Ieq5bex6L+Z5Liq6ICB5aSW5YWs5b6I5Zac5qyi5LuW5Lus77yM5pu05oS/5oSP5Li65LuW5Lus5LuY5Ye677yM5LuW5Lmf5oOz5ZCR6Ieq5bex55qE6ICB5LiJ6Iux6Iux6K+B5piO6Ieq5bex6KaB5byl6KGl5pu+5LqP5qyg5aW555qE5pe25YWJ5ZKM5YWz54ix44CC5Y+v5oOc77yB5Y+v5oOc77yB5LuW6KaB6LWw5LqG77yM6LWw5b6X5pel5a2Q5q2j5Zyo5aSn5ZCO5aSp44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

老马累了，老了，不想也不愿再向这快速变迁的世界证明什么了。他只想向漾漾和仔仔证明自己这个老外公很喜欢他们，更愿意为他们付出，他也想向自己的老三英英证明自己要弥补曾亏欠她的时光和关爱。可惜！可惜！他要走了，走得日子正在大后天。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+6L+Z5Liq5rip5pqW55qE5bCP5a625bqt5pS55Y+Y5LqG5LuW5rip5pqW5LqG5LuW77yM5LuW5Y205LiN6IO957uZ6L+Z5Liq5a625bqt5YGa5Lqb5LuA5LmI77yM5oGQ5oCV6L+Z5piv6ICB6ams5q2k55Sf5pyA5aSn55qE6YGX5oa+5LqG5ZCn44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

这个温暖的小家庭改变了他温暖了他，他却不能给这个家庭做些什么，恐怕这是老马此生最大的遗憾了吧。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('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'));</script>

宽阔的石板街道、古典的建筑楼群、高耸的复古路灯……走在这精密设计的城市里，精密设计的街道上，享受着宽敞有序、素净优雅的环境，包晓棠差点以为自己不再是包晓棠了。此时此刻的她正站在巴黎的地面上挥手作别凯旋门。离开了凯旋门，旅行团很快抵达埃菲尔铁塔，远远地但见那塔高耸入云，如神话故事里的巴别塔走下神坛一般。一行人走近后观那铁塔结构精密，异常独特地耸立在古老又淡定的欧式建筑群中。上塔后晓棠在空中俯望巴黎，近空云鱼肚白团团连成片，云底下的四方小楼密密麻麻铺到天边，天是极平的，地也是极平的，天地间清一色灰白楼房，弥漫着中世纪的古典风情。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5ZCM5Zyo5q2k5ouN54Wn5Y+C6KeC55qE77yM5aSn5aSa5piv5aSW5Zu95Lq677yM6buE5Y+R5Y235puy44CB6auY6by75qKB44CB5rex55y856qd44CB57uc6IWu6IOh77yM5pmT5qOg572u6Lqr5q2k5Zyw77yM5Lu/5L2b6Ieq5bex5Lmf5piv5Liq5aSW5Zu95Lq677yM5Lu/5L2b6Ieq5bex55qE5YmN5Y2K6Lqr56m655m95LiA54mH77yM5aaC6YKj6JOd5aSp55m95LqR5LiA6Iis56m656m655qE5LuA5LmI5Lmf5omT5o6i5LiN5Yiw44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

同在此拍照参观的，大多是外国人，黄发卷曲、高鼻梁、深眼窝、络腮胡，晓棠置身此地，仿佛自己也是个外国人，仿佛自己的前半身空白一片，如那蓝天白云一般空空的什么也打探不到。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+56uZ5Zyo5YWo5paw55qE5Zyw5pa577yM5ZG85ZC4552A5YWo5paw55qE56m65rCU77yM5YyF5pmT5qOg5Ly85LmO55yL5Yiw5LqG5LiA5Liq5YWo5paw55qE6Ieq5bex44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

站在全新的地方，呼吸着全新的空气，包晓棠似乎看到了一个全新的自己。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+6L+Z5Liq5YWo5paw55qE6Ieq5bex5piv5Li05pe255qE6L+Y5piv5oiQ5ZOB55qE77yf5b275bqV5Zyw5oq956a75Ye65Y6f5pys55qE55Sf5rS777yM55Sf5rS75Lya5Y+Y5b6X5LiN5LiA5qC35ZCX77yf5pmT5qOg5L+v5pyb5be06buO77yM5aaC5piv6Ieq6Zeu44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

这个全新的自己是临时的还是成品的？彻底地抽离出原本的生活，生活会变得不一样吗？晓棠俯望巴黎，如是自问。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('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'));</script>

三十年来，反观周遭，乡里的街坊、城里的亲戚、深圳的同事……世人日日碌碌，却鲜有快乐知足的。没钱的人因为金钱不快乐，没房的人因为房子不快乐，没有物质匮乏的人因为精神空虚不快乐……人们抱着碗里的打望锅里的，绞尽脑汁地想变成他人的复制品，所以众生皆苦。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('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'));</script>

城市是群体的极端，而群体生活的最大弊端是基于比较产生类别或阶层。一个人即便自己不想比较别人，也会被别人拿作比较。嫉妒、努力、得到——这是群体中人的同质化过程。当一个人没有足够的智慧去追求真我与自由时，他就变成了别人的复制品，和别人一模一样，灵魂被别人瓦解、支配——这种身心的不健全像传染病一样，越传越广、越广越传，最后整个社会全感染了“不健全人格”症。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5LiA55Wq6L6b6Ium5pS55Y+Y5LqG6Lqr5Lu944CB5pS55Y+Y5LqG5Z+O5biC44CB5a2m5b6X5LqG5oqA6IO977yM6L6X6L2s5LqG5LiJ5Y2B5bm077yM6Ieq5bex5L6d54S25LiN5b+r5LmQ44CC5aaC5p6c5LiA5Liq5pe25Luj55qE5oiQ5Yqf5ZKM6Leo6LaK5piv5Lul5Lq655qE5LiN5b+r5LmQ5Li65Luj5Lu377yM6YKj5LmI6L+Z5Liq5pe25Luj5Zyo5Lq65Lus5oO25oO25LiA55Sf55qE6K6w5b+G5Lit5bCG5piv5LuT54yd55qE44CB5aSx6LSl55qE44CB6KKr5ZS+5byD55qE44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

一番辛苦改变了身份、改变了城市、学得了技能，辗转了三十年，自己依然不快乐。如果一个时代的成功和跨越是以人的不快乐为代价，那么这个时代在人们惶惶一生的记忆中将是仓猝的、失败的、被唾弃的。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('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'));</script>

童年本是快乐的，自己的童年却很痛苦；青春该是自由的，自己的青春却很迷茫；三十而立以后定是轻松的，可自己从二十九跨到三十一十分十分焦灼……什么能让人快乐？孩子？爱情？家庭？金钱？权力？包晓棠不是没见过同时拥有这些的人，也许他们很有成就感，但他们当中依然有不快乐的。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5pmT5qOg55qE5Lq655Sf55yL6LW35p2l5aW95Ly85LiA5Zy65ryr6ZW/55qE562J5b6F77yM5aW55Zyo562J5LuA5LmI5ZGi77yf562J5b6F54ix5oOF44CB562J5b6F5aW955Sf5rS76L+Y5piv562J5b6F5ruh5aSp57mB5pif77yf5aaC5p6c5LuK5pma5pyJ5pif5pif5Ye6546w77yM6YKj5aW55bCx5Zyo5a6+6aaG5aSW55yL5LiA5pma5be06buO55qE5pif5pif44CC5aaC5p6c5rKh5pyJ77yM5pmT5qOg5Yaz5a6a5Lul5ZCO5YaN5Lmf5LiN55yL5pif5pif5LqG44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

晓棠的人生看起来好似一场漫长的等待，她在等什么呢？等待爱情、等待好生活还是等待满天繁星？如果今晚有星星出现，那她就在宾馆外看一晚巴黎的星星。如果没有，晓棠决定以后再也不看星星了。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+6Lip5Zyo5Y6a6YeN5bSO5bKW55qE55+z56CW5Zyw5LiK77yM5LiA6KGM5Lq65Zyo5a+85ri455qE54m15byV5LiL6L+b5LqG5Yeh5bCU6LWb5a6r44CC5a6P5Lyf55qE5aOB55S744CB57K+6Ie055qE5Zyw5q+v44CB5Yeg5L2V5Zu+5qGI55qE5oux6aG244CB5a6r5q6/5YaF5aSW55qE6Iux6ZuE6ZuV5aGR4oCm4oCm6auY5aSn55qE5a6r5q6/6YeM6ZmI5YiX552A5aW95aSa5Lyf5Lq655qE5p2w5L2c77yM5Zyo5LiA5bmF5LiD5YWr5Y2B5bmz57Gz5aSn55qE5beo5bmF5rK555S75YmN77yM5LiJ5Y2B5LqM5bKB55qE5YyF5pmT5qOg6KKr5b275bqV6ZyH5pK85LqG44CB5b6B5pyN5LqG44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

踩在厚重崎岖的石砖地上，一行人在导游的牵引下进了凡尔赛宫。宏伟的壁画、精致的地毯、几何图案的拱顶、宫殿内外的英雄雕塑……高大的宫殿里陈列着好多伟人的杰作，在一幅七八十平米大的巨幅油画前，三十二岁的包晓棠被彻底震撼了、征服了。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5Y6f5p2l6Ieq5bex55qE55Sf5rS76YKj5LmI5Y2R5b6u44CB6YKj5LmI5rWF6JaE77yM5rWF6JaE5b6X5LiN5aCq5LiA5Ye744CB5LiN5b+N5a6h6KeG44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

原来自己的生活那么卑微、那么浅薄，浅薄得不堪一击、不忍审视。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('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'));</script>

浅薄令她迷失自我、人格残缺，只有深沉才能成就眼前的伟大——凯旋门、卢浮宫、埃菲尔铁塔。浅薄从何而来？包晓棠一路上仔细观察巴黎人的眼神，那眼神中的淡定、从容、柔和在中国是少有的。浅薄从何而来？晓棠思忖，该是和一座城市的产生、一个社会的形成息息相关。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5LiA5YiH6Zeu6aKY5Lqn55Sf55qE5Y6f5Zug5peg5LiN6JW05ZCr5Zyo5pyA5byA5aeL44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

一切问题产生的原因无不蕴含在最开始。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

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