52下 人生末段重燃希望 年及知命夜半不寐（1 / 2）

<h3>52下 人生末段重燃希望 年及知命夜半不寐（第1页）</h3><script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5LiA56eS6K6w5L2P44CQeGlhb3lhbndlbnh1ZeOAkeeyvuW9qeaXoOW8ueeql+WFjei0ue+8ge+8iOWboOacrOeroOWtl+aVsOi/h+WkmumBguWIhuS4pOasoeabtOaWsO+8jOS7peS4i+WGheWuueS4uuOAijUy5LiL44CL55qE5LiL5Y2K6YOo5YiG44CC77yJPC9wPg=='));</script>

一秒记住【xiaoyanwenxue】精彩无弹窗免费！（因本章字数过多遂分两次更新，以下内容为《52下》的下半部分。）

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一直增长的年岁会杀人，而不是人在年岁厚重以后因器官衰竭自然死亡。这世上没有几个人不是因年岁的诅咒而死的。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('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'));</script>

心脏跟时间一样，从一开始运动便在倒计时，时间在计算宇宙的生命，而心脏计算的是饶生命。昨晚上一想起老大兴邦，老马的耳朵久久不敢贴枕头，一贴到枕头立马听到自己的心跳。越是安静的环境，听得越清楚，像安装在耳朵里的机械秒针一样——扑通、扑通、扑通——永不停歇。老马最恐惧的，正是听到自己的心跳，像死亡的脚步一样，从远处一点一点地靠近他。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('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'));</script>

有一年夏，兴邦回来的时候，老马突然发现他两臂上长满了血痔——跳蚤大，密密麻麻。皮肤黑加上平时不在意，往常并未发现，当时看到的那一刻老马瞬间吃了一惊。后来咨询村里的先生（医生），人家是肝郁、脂肪肝、慢性肝炎方面的。老马提醒兴邦时，才知原来他自己清楚，他只吃药解决不了。兴邦已不年轻了，他为何还对他抱有期望呢？谁会对一个将近五十的人抱有期望？可能连兴邦自己也没对自己抱有期望吧。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5L2c5Li656S+5Lya5Lq677yM6ams5YW06YKm5piv5aSx6LSl55qE77yb5Y+v5L2c5Li65YS/5a2Q5ZKM5YWE6ZW/77yM5LuW5Yeg5LmO5piv5a6M576O55qE44CC5Lmf6K645q2j5piv5Zug5Li65LuW55qE5aW977yM6ICB6ams5omN5biM5pyb5LuW6IO96L+H5b6X5aW95LiA54K544CB56iz5LiA54K544CC5Y+v5Li65LuA5LmI5q+P5Zue5q+P5Zue5LuW5Lus5LiA6KeB6Z2i5LuW5oC75piv5a+55YS/5a2Q6L+Z5qC35LiN5ruh5oSP44CB6YKj5qC35LiN5ruh5oSP77yM5YW06YKm5LiA6LWw5LuW5Y+I5b+15Y+o5YS/5a2Q55qE56eN56eN5aW944CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

作为社会人，马兴邦是失败的；可作为儿子和兄长，他几乎是完美的。也许正是因为他的好，老马才希望他能过得好一点、稳一点。可为什么每回每回他们一见面他总是对儿子这样不满意、那样不满意，兴邦一走他又念叨儿子的种种好。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5Lmf6K645qGC6Iux5b6X5a+577yM5LuW6ICB5LqG77yM5LuW55qE6YKj5LiA5aWX5rKh55So5LqG44CB6KKr5Lq65o6o57+75LqG5Lmf5pCe54Om5LqG77yB5LiD5Y2B5bKB55qE6ICB6ams5Y+N6KeC6Ieq5bex6L+Y55WZ5pyJ5LuA5LmI5Lu35YC85ZGi77yf5a626YeM5Yac5rS755qE5Li75Yqb5pep5o2i5oiQ5LqG5YW055ub77yM5LuW5LiN6L+H5piv5pCB6L655LiK5LiN5rip5LiN54Gr5Zyw5oyH5omL55S76ISa572i5LqG44CC5qGC6Iux55qE55Sf5rS75LuW5YGa5LiN5b6X5Li777yM5YW06YKm55qE5ZG96L+Q5LuW5oOz5YGa5Li75YGa5LiN5LqG44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

也许桂英得对，他老了，他的那一套没用了、被人推翻了也搞烦了！七十岁的老马反观自己还留有什么价值呢？家里农活的主力早换成了兴盛，他不过是搁边上不温不火地指手画脚罢了。桂英的生活他做不得主，兴邦的命运他想做主做不了。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('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'));</script>

老马用心搭建了三十年的价值观崩溃了、没用了。是的，他似乎失去了活着的意义，觉自己对于他视为至关重要的人来是多余的。自己的躯体由这世界上本来多余的东西拼凑而成，如今他着多余的话，做着多余的事，过着多余的日子，耗费多余的能量……这多余的躯体里没有储藏他的格局、锐气或宏伟，只有多余的五谷杂粮与鸡鸭鱼肉硬拼成的一个像饶东西而已。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+6ICB6L+I77yM5aaC5q2k5Lyk5Lq644CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

老迈，如此伤人。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5pu05Luk6ICB6ams5oKy6LWh5piv77yM6Ieq5omT5pio5YW06YKm6LWw5LqG44CB6Lef5qGC6Iux5ZC15a6M5p625Lul5ZCO77yM5pio5pma5LiK6ZqU5LiJ5beu5LqU5Zyw5b+D5oK45b+D5oWM77yM5q2k5Yi75LuW5YWL5Yi25LiN5L2P5Zyw5omL5Y+R5oqW44CB5rCU55+t44CB6IO46Ze344CC5LiA5Y+j5rCU5LiN5aSf5pWw5LiK5LiN5p2l5Ye65LiN5Y6777yM5LiA5Liq5ZOI5qyg5oCO5LmI5omT5Lmf5omT5LiN5oiQ44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

更令老马悲赡是，自打昨兴邦走了、跟桂英吵完架以后，昨晚上隔三差五地心悸心慌，此刻他克制不住地手发抖、气短、胸闷。一口气不够数上不来出不去，一个哈欠怎么打也打不成。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+6ICB6ams6ICB5LqG77yM6ICB5b6X5Luk5YS/5aWz5oSk5oCS77yb6ICB5b6X5LiN6KKr6Ieq5bex5b6F6KeB77yb6ICB5b6X55Sf5LiN5aaC5q2744CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

老马老了，老得令儿女愤怒；老得不被自己待见；老得生不如死。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5LuK5pmo5Zub5LqU54K55LuW5LiN5YGc5Zyw5YGa5qKm44CB5LiN5YGc5Zyw5YGa5qKm44CC5aSn5qKm44CB5qKm44CB6ZW/5qKm44CB55+t5qKm4oCm4oCm6Lef6L+H55S15b2x5Ly855qE77yM5pCF5omw552A5LuW5Y6f5pys6KGw6ICB55qE44CC5LuW5qKm6KeB6Ieq5bex5Zue5Yiw5LqG5Y2B5p2l5bKB55qE5pe25YCZ77yM5LuW5L2P5Zyo5peg55WP5Y+I6IOG55qE5bCR5bm06Lqv5aOz6YeM77yM55yL6KeB5LiN5bm45Y+I5q6L5b+N55qE5LqL5oOF5LiA5qyh5Y+I5LiA5qyh5Y+R55Sf4oCU4oCU6aW/5q2755qE44CB6KKr5omT5q2755qE44CB6KKr6ay85a2Q5p6q5p2A55qE44CB6KKr5p2R6YeM5Lq65paX5q2755qE4oCm4oCm5LuW5qKm6KeB5aSn6aOO5oqK6Ieq5bex5Y235Yiw56m65Lit77yM562J6Ieq5bex5pGU5Yiw5Zyw5LiK5pe277yM5LiA552B55y85a626YeM5Yeg5Y+j5Lq65LiN6KeB5LqG77yM5LuW5Lul5Li65piv6aW/5q275LqG6KKr6YK75bGF5oqs6LWw5LqG77yM6ICB6ams5oCl5b6X6La05Zyw5LiK5ZGc5ZGc5ZGc5Zyw5ZOt77yb5LuW5qKm6KeB5LuW5aSn77yI54i25Lqy77yM6ICB6ams55qE54i25Lqy77yJ5aW95Yeg5rKh6aWt5ZCD77yM5LiA5Liq5Lq66Lq65Zyo54KV6L6577yM6IS46Imy55m95b6X5b+r5LiN6KGM5LqG77yb5LuW5qKm5Yiw5LuW5aaI6Lq65Zyo54KV6YeM6Z2i77yM562J552A6ZKx5pWR5ZG977yM5Y+v6ICB6ams5oCO5LmI5Lmf5YCf5LiN5p2l6ZKx4oCm4oCm5Y+q6KaB5qKm5Yiw5a626YeM5Lq66L+H5b6X5LiN5aW977yM5qKm6YaS5ZCO55qE5LiD5pes6ICB5aS05LiA5a6a5b6X6Iqx5q615pe26Ze05p2l5raI5YyW6Ieq5bex5Ya35aaC5Yaw56Gs5aaC6ZOB55qE5b+D5oOF44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

今晨四五点他不停地做梦、不停地做梦。大梦、梦、长梦、短梦……跟过电影似的，搅扰着他原本衰老的。他梦见自己回到了十来岁的时候，他住在无畏又胆的少年躯壳里，看见不幸又残忍的事情一次又一次发生——饿死的、被打死的、被鬼子枪杀的、被村里人斗死的……他梦见大风把自己卷到空中，等自己摔到地上时，一睁眼家里几口人不见了，他以为是饿死了被邻居抬走了，老马急得趴地上呜呜呜地哭；他梦见他大（父亲，老马的父亲）好几没饭吃，一个人躺在炕边，脸色白得快不行了；他梦到他妈躺在炕里面，等着钱救命，可老马怎么也借不来钱……只要梦到家里人过得不好，梦醒后的七旬老头一定得花段时间来消化自己冷如冰硬如铁的心情。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('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'));</script>

流了几滴清泪，不知道凌晨几点，老马又睡着了。睡着后他梦见自己去看社火，在人群里偶然看见了儿子兴邦，他确定那人就是他儿子马兴邦，但是那人躲躲闪闪的不愿意见他。听人他过得不好，老马心酸地站在原地冷望，旁边的千百人喜滋滋闹哄哄地从他身边如河流一般擦肩而过，社火队走了、群众也走了，他却抬不起脚、走不了路……<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5Li06YaS5LmL5YmN77yM6ICB6ams6L+Y5qKm5Yiw5LqG5qGC6Iux5aW55amG5ZKM5aW55aaI77yM5qKm6KeB5ZKM5aW55Lus6K+d44CB5ZCD6aWt44CB56eN6bqm5a2Q44CB5pGY57u/6LGG4oCm4oCm5qKm6KeB5a626YeM5Lq65LiA6LW35Yqz5Yqo57un57ut55Sf5rS777yM566X5piv5LiA56eN5bm46L+Q77yM54m55Yir5piv5Zyo5qKm6YeM55yL6KeB5bey5pWF5aSa5bm055qE5a625Lq677yM5pu05piv5LiH5bm477yM5Y+v5oOc5aSa5pWw5qKm6YaS5ZCO77yM5YGa5qKm55qE5Lq65b+D5oOF5rKJ6YeN44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

临醒之前，老马还梦到了桂英她婆和她妈，梦见和她们话、吃饭、种麦子、摘绿豆……梦见家里人一起劳动继续生活，算是一种幸运，特别是在梦里看见已故多年的家人，更是万幸，可惜多数梦醒后，做梦的人心情沉重。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5b+n6LWh6ICB5Lq65LiN5q2i6ICB6ams5LiA5Liq44CC5LiL5Y2I5Zub54K55Y2K77yM5bmy5LqG5LiA5rS755ay5oOr6Iez5p6B55qE6ZKf6IO95bim552A5Lic6KW/5b6A5Zue6LWw44CC5Z2Q5Zyo5YWs5Lqk6L2m5LiK55qE6ICB5rGJ77yM5oOz6LW36L+R5p2l5YS/5a2Q5pel5pel6YaJ6YWS77yM6ZO65a2Q5b275bqV5pKC5LiL5LqG77yM55m9552h5Yiw5LiL5Y2I5Lik5LiJ54K577yM5YeM5pmo5Zad6YWS5Zad5Yiw5aSc6YeM5Lik5LiJ54K54oCU4oCU6L+Z5Y+r5LuA5LmI5pel5a2Q77yB5Lu75piv6LCB5aaC5q2k5LiL5Y6777yM5oCO5Lya5LiN5bqf5o6J44CC5pa55omN5q2j5LiK54+t5ZGi77yM5a2m5oiQ5bim552A5ZOt6IWU57uZ6Ieq5bex5omT55S16K+d77yM6Zeu5LuW5LuA5LmI5pe25YCZ5Zue5p2l44CC6ZKf6IO95LiA5ZCs6YKj5Y+j5rCU77yM55+l6YGT5a2p5a2Q5Y+I6KKr5omT5LqG77yM5b+D55a85b6X5LiA6L655omr5aSn6KGX5LiA6L6555Sf6Ze35rCU5LiA6L655oq555y85rOq77yM5LmM6buR55qE6IS45LiK5Zug5Li655eb6Ium6ICM5pu05Yqg6KS255qx44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

忧赡老人不止老马一个。下午四点半，干了一活疲惫至极的钟能带着东西往回走。坐在公交车上的老汉，想起近来儿子日日醉酒，铺子彻底撂下了，白睡到下午两三点，凌晨喝酒喝到夜里两三点——这叫什么日子！任是谁如此下去，怎会不废掉。方才正上班呢，学成带着哭腔给自己打电话，问他什么时候回来。钟能一听那口气，知道孩子又被打了，心疼得一边扫大街一边生闷气一边抹眼泪，乌黑的脸上因为痛苦而更加褶皱。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('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'));</script>

回忆的时候，钟理他奶奶性格暴躁，动不动操棍子、用手掐、巴掌扇，一辈子打婆婆打老公打孩子，钟能在一种高压的环境下长大，生性略略怯懦，或者谨慎过度。后来娶了钟理他妈，也是个暴脾气，在自家门口撸起袖子跟人骂架是常有的。钟能从不怪她，反感激她。村里人势力，哪个不畏强欺弱？钟理他妈的泼辣跋扈也是被逼的，到底是为了过日子。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('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'));</script>

一个性格极强的人，身边必有一个生性极柔的人。钟能的父亲是这样的性子，钟能自己也是。四毛病像基因一样往下遗传，有时候反观自己，身为父亲更像母亲，身为爷爷看上去更像奶奶。无所谓了，他早想通了。他有没有尊严、是否被看重丝毫不重要，重要的是他知道他在做什么，他知道他做的事情对学成有多重要、对雪梅有何价值。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('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'));</script>

钟能这一辈子没什么本事，儿时家里没钱他一年的学没上过，年轻时日子紧巴他没钱出去见世面，成亲后很快有了孩子，自己除了在户口本上当家，其它地方是钟理他妈了算。可怜的钟能，自我反省他这辈子除了种地、养孩子，没什么大的贡献——对国家没英对社会没英对钟家湾没樱在他的家庭里，他也认为自己从不是那个贡献最大的人。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5LuW5LiN5Lya5ZSx5oiP44CB5LiN54ix55yL5Lmm44CB5LiN5Zac6ZK756CU77yM5LiN5oeC5pyo5Yyg44CB5bmy5LiN5Yqo5rOl5rC05Yyg5Lmf5LiN5Lya5YGa55Sf5oSP77yM5Lq65YmN5LiN5oCO5LmI5Lya6K+d77yM5Lq65ZCO5rKh6YKj5LmI5LiK6L+b5Lmf5LiN5Lya6L6D5Yqy77yM5Zyo5p2R6YeM5Yqh5Yac5Yqh5LqG5Zub5Y2B5aSa5bm077yM5rKh5pyJ55+l5b+D55qE5pyL5Y+L44CB5rKh5pyJ5Liw5Y6a55qE6JCl5pS244CB5rKh5pyJ6L+H56Gs55qE56eN5Zyw5oqA5pyv4oCm4oCmPC9wPg=='));</script>

他不会唱戏、不爱看书、不喜钻研，不懂木匠、干不动泥水匠也不会做生意，人前不怎么会话，人后没那么上进也不会较劲，在村里务农务了四十多年，没有知心的朋友、没有丰厚的营收、没有过硬的种地技术……<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5rKh6IO95Yqb44CB5rKh5omN5Y2O44CB5rKh5oSP5oCd77yM6ICB5rGJ6ZKf6IO96L+Z6L6I5a2Q77yM5Yeg5LmO5Y+v5Lul5piv5bCY5Z6i56eV57Og44CB5Yqz6ICM5peg5Yqf77yM6Zmk5LqG6Z2g56eN5Zyw5oqK6ZKf55CG5L6b5oiQ5aSn5a2m55Sf44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

没能力、没才华、没意思，老汉钟能这辈子，几乎可以是尘垢秕糠、劳而无功，除了靠种地把钟理供成大学生。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5Y2D566X5LiH566X77yM5rKh5oOz5Yiw6ZKf55CG5pyJ5LiA5Lya5oiQ6L+Z5Liq5qC35a2Q44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

千算万算，没想到钟理有一会成这个样子。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5aSx5pyb6Iez5p6B77yM5aSx5pyb6Iez5p6B44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

失望至极，失望至极。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+6ZKf6IO95Zyo5YWs5Lqk6L2m5LiK5LiN5YGc5Zyw5Y+55rCU77yM5Lu/5L2b5Y+55Ye65Y6755qE5q+P5LiA5Y+j5rCU6YO95piv5LuW55Sf5ZG955qE5pyA5ZCO5LiA5Y+j44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

钟能在公交车上不停地叹气，仿佛叹出去的每一口气都是他生命的最后一口。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5LiN5Y+v5ZCm6K6k77yM6Zuq5qKF5ZKM5a2m5oiQ5p+Q56eN56iL5bqm5LiK57yT5Yay5LqG6ICB5aS05a+55YS/5a2Q55qE5aSx5pyb44CC6LW35YWI55yL552A5aiD5aiD5LiA5a+45LiA5a+46ZW/5aSn44CB5byA5Y+j6K+d5Y+I5ZOt5Y+I56yR44CB5Lya5ZCD6aWt5Lya6K6k5a2X5Lya5Y+r54i354i344CB57KY552A5LuW6LWW552A5LuW5qy66LSf5LuW4oCm4oCm6YKj5pe25YCZ5Lym5LmL5LmQ5ruh5ruh5Zyw5rW45ram552A5Y2K55m+55qE6ZKf6IO977yM5Lik5Liq5a2p5a2Q55qE5Ye655Sf5LiO5oiQ6ZW/77yM6Zmp5Lqb5oq15raI5LqG5LuW6Ieq5bex55qE5peg6Laj44CB5peg6IO95ZKM5peg55So44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

不可否认，雪梅和学成某种程度上缓冲了老头对儿子的失望。起先看着娃娃一寸一寸长大、开口话又哭又笑、会吃饭会认字会叫爷爷、粘着他赖着他欺负他……那时候伦之乐满满地浸润着半百的钟能，两个孩子的出生与成长，险些抵消了他自己的无趣、无能和无用。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5b+r5LmQ6KGN55Sf5Ye65LqG6LSj5Lu75ZKM5LmJ5Yqh77yM5L2c5Li654i354i35LuW5oCd6JmR552A5LuW6KaB5Li65a2p5a2Q5Lus5YGa5Lqb5LuA5LmI77yM5q+U5aaC5YGa5aW95ZCD55qE44CB5Lmw5aW9546p55qE44CB5re75Lqb6KGj5pyN44CB5Y+K5pe255yL55eF4oCm4oCm5b2T6ZKf55CG5LiA5LiA5raI5rKJ5Yiw5peg5Y+v5pWR6I2v5pe277yM5LuW6Ieq5bex6ICB5LqG6ICB5LqG5Lmf6KaB5ou85LiA5oqK77yM5Y+q5Li65aSn5a2m55qE6Zuq5qKF5ZKM5a2m55qE5a2m5oiQ44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

快乐衍生出了责任和义务，作为爷爷他思虑着他要为孩子们做些什么，比如做好吃的、买好玩的、添些衣服、及时看病……当钟理一一消沉到无可救药时，他自己老了老了也要拼一把，只为大学的雪梅和学的学成。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5Y+v5Y+55Y+v5oCc77yBPC9wPg=='));</script>

可叹可怜！<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+6JC957qi5LiN5piv5peg5oOF54mp77yM5YyW5L2c5pil5rOl5pu05oqk6Iqx44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

落红不是无情物，化作春泥更护花。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5Lul5YmN5LuW5Li65YS/5a2Q5rS777yM546w5Zyo5LuO5YS/5a2Q6Lqr5LiK5rqi5Ye655qE5aSx6JC95YyW5oiQ5LqG5Yqg5YCN55qE5Yqy5aS077yM5Y+q5Zug5LuW5pyJ5LqG5paw55uu5qCH4oCU4oCU5a2Z5a2Q5a2Z5aWz44CC5pu06auY5pu05by655qE5paw55uu5qCH5pu/5o2i5LqG6L+H5Y6755qE6ICB55uu5qCH77yM5omA5Lul5LuW6K6k5Li66Ieq5bex5q+U5Lul5YmN5pu05pyJ5Lu35YC84oCU4oCU5a+55a2p5a2Q5a+55a625bqt5LuW5pu06YeN6KaB5LqG77yM5LuW55qE5pma5bm05pe26Ze05pu05YWF5a6e5LqG77yM5LuW5LiN5aCq5LiA5Ye755qE55Sf5ZG95pu05pyJ5rS75aS05ZKM5ruL5ZGz5LqG44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>

以前他为儿子活，现在从儿子身上溢出的失落化成了加倍的劲头，只因他有了新目标——孙子孙女。更高更强的新目标替换了过去的老目标，所以他认为自己比以前更有价值——对孩子对家庭他更重要了，他的晚年时间更充实了，他不堪一击的生命更有活头和滋味了。<script>document.writeln(qsbs.bb('PHA+5Y+v5oOc5ZGA5Y+v5oOc77yM5p2l5b6X5aSq5pma5LqG44CC5LuW5bey57uP5YWt5Y2B5LqU5LqG77yM6L+H5bqm55qE5Yqz57Sv5L2/5b6X5LuW5Yeg5LmO5peg5Y+v5Y6L5qao5LqG44CC6L+R5p2l6Lqr5L2T5oC75piv5LiN6IiS5pyN77yM5Yeg5LmO5aSc5aSc5YeM5pmo5LiJ54K55aSa6YaS5p2l77yM6YaS5ZCO5YaN5Lmf552h5LiN552A44CC6Iad55uW6YW46L2v5Y+R6bq777yM6IWw6IOM56Gs5b6X6Zq+5Y+X77yM5LuW5Zyo6ISK6IOM5LiL5Z6r5LqG5qKF5qKF55qE5LiJ5pys5Y6a5Lmm5omN5YuJ5by66IO95bmz6Lq6552A44CCPC9wPg=='));</script>